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173. Sensual Fun vs. Rigid Belief

21 May

Contrast these two extremes. (1) A nightclub where there is loud, exciting music, flirtation, women in revealing outfits, people dancing, and generally, a lot of happy fun. And (2) devoted people praying in a religious setting. (Note: this blog deals with character traits, without making value judgements. I do respect religion.)

For a long time, I have noted that there is a spectrum, ranging from my 1 to 2, from uninhibited rhythmic wild joy — to rigid beliefs in God’s higher plan. This is not a simple distinction, and many people fit at different points along this spectrum. Some people start out one way and end up at the other extreme. In a few cases, a person could even have both traits simultaneously.

The reason why this is so important, is because this distinction forms the basis of some governments, conflicts and even wars. Osama bin Laden’s 911 attack on New York City is an example of this distinction. Much of Bin Laden’s philosophy is based on the writings of Sayyid Qutb (pronounced coo’tub). Qutb was an Egyptian writer that lived for a while in Greeley, Colorado, about 1950. He had a “vision” that God wanted humans to manage the Earth in a respectful, controlled, and “harmonious” way. He described the people of Greeley to be crude, brutish, obsessed with jazz, and the women flaunted their bodies. Qutb definitely did not fit in and if you look at his pictures, you can see why. He could have ignored this “crude” world, but he decided that it should be destroyed, a “Jihad.” The hatred, I think, is based on being unable or afraid to participate in the fun. I suppose that women in general found him undesirable. I suspect that Osama bin Laden, who had five wives and more than 20 children, had a good bit of fun, but many of his followers did not and had the Qutb type of hatred.

Let’s call this spectrum from wild-fun to rigid-beliefs. I see this contrast within the people of the USA. One type of person is deeply religious, is devoted to God, and deep down in his heart is jealous of the fun-loving types. I believe that the leaders in Alabama that want to make abortion totally illegal, are way into the rigid God-Plan end of the spectrum. Examples at the other end are Presidents Clinton and Obama. Sexy Clinton played the sax and enjoyed many women. Obama clearly enjoyed Al Green’s “Let’s stay together” song, a definite proof. He even sang, in public, a little of the song.

The above analysis, of course, is an over-simplification, and there are many human traits and spectra. I have written this blog for two reasons. The first is to understand why certain religious groups hate the fun-loving people so much that they want to kill as many as possible. My guess is two reasons: one is jealousy and the feelings of rejection. The other is that it tends to undermine their beliefs: people are having fun and many are ignoring God and religion. They might think, “I am being good, and defending God, and praying to make God feel good, and is all that for naught?

The other reason for this blog is that I want to define a certain character trait. It could be called “sensual rhythm.” I think that most healthy and attractive people, living in a peaceful community (and without Asperger’s syndrome) would have that trait, at least to some extent (both sexes). People with this trait usually like parties, sex, flirtation, love songs, Afro-Cuban music like Santana’s pieces, etc. People without this trait can lead joyful lives with other values, such as, intellectual accomplishments, art, or different kinds of music. Many take great joy in church and charitable activities. I am not making value judgments, just trying to better understand human behavior. I welcome comments and expect some nasty remarks from some people.

137. Women Age 50 Can Be Sexy

20 Jan

French, prize-winning novelist and film-director Yann Moix (age 50) has enraged some women because he finds age 50 women sexually unattractive. Much has been written by men and women regarding this important issue. I am well over 50, and I am going to express my views on this subject. And I apologize to others that have already written similar things. And note that much of what applies to women also applies to men.

The first thing I want to assert is that a woman at 50 can have wonderful things (including sex) to offer a man. Briefly, and obviously, such a woman who is loving can provide numerous benefits for a man. But I am going to deal first, with the sexual part, since it seems to be of greatest interest.

A woman aged 50 can be a wonderful sexual partner if she and her man are truly in love, and even if they only like each other a lot.  Sometimes, sexual interest is also based upon the health and weight of the other. Knowing how to please sexually is really important. Some lack of physical attractiveness is often made up for with good use of hands and lips. Body odor or lack of odor is very important. Ask your partner what is best in the area of olfaction: certain perfume or just really clean. A woman or a man can make up for diminished physical attractiveness by good use of the right caresses. I could go into detail, but I will just say that the most sensitive area for men and women is the same, and is a few inches south of the navel. When you are doing this, start gently and see how your partner reacts, and if you are really confused you need to ask him/her for instructions.

Regarding other aspects of love at an older age I have the following to say. A lot of love depends on supportiveness and reliability.  For example, if your partner is foolishly spending a lot money then you might find him/her to be unattractive. Being supportive and minimally critical is really vital. Enjoying things, together, of common interest enhances attractiveness. If a man is with a woman who has all the characteristics discussed above, it is very likely that he will enjoy sex with her. I would also suggest that for those who are for any reason not capable of actual sex, then massaging can be a great substitute.

Getting back to Mr. Yann Moix, it is true that the bodies of young women are sexually more attractive, and there are biological and evolutionary reasons for this. But I think that if you can find an intelligent, healthy, kind, and loving woman of about 50 and normal weight, that you could really enjoy sex with her.  (In my experience, such women exist, but are hard to find.)  And for women, the enjoyment of sex with an older man is similar, but other factors play a role.  Women often find that a man who is “successful,” is more attractive. Also note that some older women enjoy sex with young men, and might sympathize with Yann Moix.